


once as a lover, and twice as a stranger.

by amaguiis



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Injury, M/M, Manipulation, Religion, himeru is pissed, non Canon, one sided oghimeru/tatsumi, revolution-era, what the fuck tatsumi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 09:08:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29222973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amaguiis/pseuds/amaguiis
Summary: he would do anything for tatsumi. and tatsumi would do anything for his god.// please read the tags for warnings. \\
Relationships: HiMERU/Kazehaya Tatsumi
Kudos: 11





	once as a lover, and twice as a stranger.

HiMERU was never religious. He never went to church as a kid, he never prayed, he never really cared, if he was being completely honest. Religion was something that the Toujo family just never valued as something that important, though they were always close as a family- especially Kaname and HiMERU, it’s what you get from the result of twins, of course. They had a bond that couldn’t really be broken. Or so they thought.

The first time that HiMERU met god was at a riot. Metaphorically, of course. It was what Kaname would have called a ‘riot’, when in actuality it was a gathering of students who were plotting to switch how their academy worked. HiMERU thought it was admirable, Kaname did not. Though, one day Kaname had to do something for a teacher after his last class, and of course HiMERU snuck away to where that little group met. Through observing for 3 weeks, he learned the meet behind the southern building on mondays, thursdays, and occasionally fridays. The group consisted of anywhere from fifteen to twenty people, all somewhat sitting around a man that was… hard to make out from the distance. He decided to get closer. Moving stealthily, he snuck into the back of the group and hoped for the… teal? (He had teal hair, noted.) man to not notice him. When he was finally relaxed, the man’s purple eyes glanced over at him for a second, an inviting smile playing on his face as he looked away, not drawing any attention over to HiMERU. He felt a shiver run up through his back.

The man spoke, his heart and ideals bore open for all to see on his shoulder. He spoke about god. He spoke about a revolution, judgement- he spoke about the sins of everyone and how they could all be forgiven and how they could all be happier- happier than they currently were. HiMERU knew happiness- he was happy. He listened with intention to the man’s voice. It was like silk, the words eloquently falling off of his tongue easily as he explained his plan to the people around him. As the others grew angry and fed up, unbelieving in his plan, he kept his composure and continued to calmly argue his point. HiMERU believed the others were stupid- he didn’t understand why they didn’t think this would work. Hell, HiMERU only knew what he picked up from observing and today and he still believes the man. But as people leave, it grows more evident that HiMERU was there and he’d catch confused eyes on him occasionally. His phone buzzed- presumably from Kaname. He ignored it. 

Once he had finished talking and the remaining people discussed with themselves, HiMERU glanced down at his phone. 10 texts and 2 missed calls. Oops. He went to open the texts to reply when he felt a light tap on his shoulder, causing him to drop his phone (and accidentally send Kaname “i’m socgyrfhjdvcjrh” exactly.). His head whipped around at whoever the hell was tapping him and it was none other than the teal haired man from before. He panicked for a second, stumbling over his words before managing to say “Ah- hello! I saw some people over here and decided to come sit and listen- it seemed interesting..” The man laughed a bit, smiling down at HiMERU. “It’s no worry,” he held out a hand to help HiMERU up. “Interesting? I’m glad you think so. What’s your name?” HiMERU took his hand, a tint of red spreading on his face as he stood. “HiMERU- what’s yours?” His head tilted a bit while he asked. “Kazehaya Tatsumi, it’s a pleasure to meet you, HiMERU. I must leave, but do stop by tomorrow evening, alright? Come by a bit early, I’ll fill you in. How does 4pm sound?” HiMERU nodded. “I can do 4!” Tatsumi smiled again and took a few steps, waving behind him. “I’ll see you then.”

As Tatsumi walked off, Kaname came running past him to HiMERU. “Where were you-?!” HiMERU just laughed. It’s not actually like he was going to say.

\-----------------------------

The second time HiMERU met god was at a church, ironically. He had been getting closer to Tatsumi in any means necessary, if he was being honest. Tatsumi was like a saint to him- his ideals were run by purity and he only wanted the best for HiMERU and for everyone else. Every sacrifice was one that had to be made and would be repaid with the riches derived from the reward of their labor. Now, HiMERU had his knees on a red plush kneeler, his hands clasped together and his eyes shut as Tatsumi spoke to him- and only him about the word of god and how he loved them both so for helping with the revolution. For where there’s a will, there’s a way. He drew HiMERU up from his knees, taking his hand lightly and leading him to the altar where he pressed HiMERU’s back to the wooden frame of it. 

HiMERU stared at Tatsumi dead in the eyes, embarrassment rising to his face as Tatsumi’s hand made its way to his chin. Of course Tatsumi knew how HiMERU felt about him. He wasn’t stupid.

“HiMERU-san…”

HiMERU swallowed as Tatsumi leaned in closer.

“To what extent would you go for me?” soft-spoken, yet so demanding.

“W-What extent? Uhm-” HiMERU looked away for a moment before Tatsumi pushed his face to look back at him. “I asked you a question, please answer me.. I cannot bear to have someone at my side who wouldn’t go to the same lengths that I’d go for them..”

With that, HiMERU’s heart skipped a beat and he quickly retaliated with; “Anything-! I’d do anything for you, Kazehaya-san… You could even- You-”

Tatsumi tilted his head in confusion. “I..?”

“You could use me as you see fit…” 

Tatsumi’s eyes lit up with excitement as his hand went from HiMERu’s chin to his cheek.

“Perfect. Thank you, HiMERU-san.”

\--------------------------

It goes on like this for a while, Tatsumi’s endless words of praise to HiMERU anytime he did something that Tatsumi needed or wanted and HiMERU just happily doing it out of pure love. That’s all he could offer Tatsumi. His pure love and devotion. You see, He wasn’t gifted like Tatsumi. He wasn’t holy like the man was. But, Tatsumi forgave him daily- he showed him the light and forgave him until he couldn’t speak anymore. HiMERU wanted nothing more than this- this was his heaven. He believed that Tatsumi allowed him to see a side of him that nobody else say- because Tatsumi told him with closed eyes:

“HiMERU-san, did you know that an angel's agony has no audience?” 

HiMERU didn’t quite understand. “Angels like you, Kazehaya-san..?”

“Yes. It’s because we save our suffering and hide our sacrifices behind our salvation.”

Now, HiMERU was even more confused. They stood next to each other on Reimei Academy’s roof as the wind blew through their hair, Tatsumi’s voice never faltering once as he spoke on these dark topics.

“Though, such as the burden of a savior. You mustn't know the price I pay- for the guilt will surely damn you.”

Tatsumi’s eyes watered as he looked over the school’s railing, propping himself to sit on the ledge. “You know, HiMERU-san, I am eternally grateful for you.” 

“Ta- Kazehaya-san..?” HiMERU’s voice wavered as he stepped closer to the edge out of precaution.

Tatsumi knew if he went down, then HiMERU would go with him. So, he leaned back more. 

“K-Kazehaya-san?!” HiMERU rushed forward before Tatsumi fell off the side of the building.

HiMERU launched himself off as well, Kaname running up just in time to see his own brother throw himself off a roof for a man who didn’t even love him back. 

The cold air hit HiMERU’s face as he grabbed Tatsumi and leveled him above his body- making sure that he wouldn’t take the impact from the fall. 

Then? It went cold. 

\-------------------------------

Tatsumi awoke in a hospital. His leg was propped up and it looked as if his door was shut with security..? Why on earth would he need security? Ah. Maybe the yelling from outside his door proved why.

He heard.. someone? yelling from his door to be let in and to open the door. Who could it have even been-? Well, the glimpse of blue hair confirmed it. It was Kaname. Though, eventually, the guard took a small break and Kaname saw his opportunity to run in. 

And oh boy, was he seething.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” His voice was broken, as if he had been crying for hours. “How can you just sit here and be hardly hurt?!” He took steps closer until he was besides Tatsumi. His hands wrapped around his throat quickly, cursing him as he spoke again. “If my brother isn’t going to make it, then you don’t deserve to either-!” Kaname pressed down farther on Tatsumi’s windpipe, pressing until he felt Tatsumi go limp. Of course, he didn’t kill him. He couldn’t do that. HiMERU loved him too much. But, he could make him go through brain hypoxia. He had just had to have cut off oxygen long enough to mess up his memory. And that he did. Of course, it wouldn’t erase everything that Tatsumi ever knew of the two of them, but it sure as hell would blur it. And then Kaname left without a trace.

HiMERU took longer to wake up and by then, Kaname was already taking over for him as an idol and Tatsumi believed he had recovered. Of course, HiMERU always asked for Tatsumi, but Kaname firmly installed that Tatsumi did not want to see him (even though that was far, far from the truth). It broke HiMERU, but Kaname had to do it. He wasn’t letting Tatsumi near HiMERU again. Not after last time. 

Now, it was just Kaname and HiMERU in a quiet hospital room as one slept and the other thought to himself. 

HiMERU was gullible. Tatsumi laid the cards face up on the table and HiMERU felt the weight of the dice on his fingers and yet he still bet all of his chips into a man that pretended to love him. 

Now, as the hand has been played, he risked it all for it all to be taken, leaving his being battered and broken.

And then again, it was just two brothers and a man HiMERU used to know.

Once as a lover, and twice as strangers.


End file.
